Pretty and Smart
by Hufflepuffian
Summary: Aunts Lily and Vivian reason out why they are beginning to draw smaller audiences. Pushing Daisies.


**Author's Note:** Pushing Daisies is my guilty pleasure this television season, especially the character of Aunt Vivian. In honour of that, I decided to write a small fanfic centering on their earlier lives. Just a one shot, but I may write more as time goes on. Pushing Daisies is on Wednesday at 8 on ABC (sorry about saying CBS, I actually watch it Tuesday at 8 on CTV since I'm Canadian, and I got the networks confused). Hopefully I captured the voice of the narrator decently enough.

* * *

Aunts Lily and Vivian were twenty six and twenty three years, eight and thirty one weeks, four and six days, twenty three and four hours, and fifty seven and twenty one minutes, respectively, when they first began doubting their ability to draw crowds. In no way could either of the Charles sisters be deemed 'ugly'. Yet, in no way could either of the Charles sisters be deemed 'pretty', either. For the two of them, it was a lose-lose situation, because at least when you're pretty, you had your looks, and at least when you're ugly, you have the smarts, and falling in neither category meant that they were neither good looking or intelligent. 

"Lily," Vivian said in her high, singsong voice. She had a smile on her face, though it failed to match the mood of their surroundings: it was dark, cloudy, and Vivian could have sworn she felt a rain drop. "I could have sworn I felt a raindrop."

Lily was much more of a realist than her younger sister, more abrasive and catty, as well. She thought Vivian was overreacting. "Vivian, you're overreacting."

"I am not," Vivian said, crossing her arms, "I just thought I felt a raindrop."

"Well good," Lily said bitterly. "We're swimmers, what harm could it do?"

Vivian was much less of a realist than her older sisters, more assuring and caring. She flipped her head, her black hair was cut short to keep it out of her eyes when she was performing, and huffed. "Didn't you know? Rainwater contains acids that will eventually cause the earth to melt into a sea of mush. All because of cars." She ended her sentence with a strong 'mmhm', and looked over to her sister.

Lily thought Vivian was overreacting. "Vivian, you're overreacting," Lily repeated, her tone becoming lower. "There's no such thing as acid in rain. It's impossible."

"Oh course it is," Vivian shot back. "You and your Bachelor's degree in Biology know everything, don't you?" When Lily was twenty-two years, seventeen weeks, one day, fourteen hours, and one minute old when she graduated from Coeur d'Coeurs' Nationally Accredited Science and Technology-Based University of Science and Technology. It is affectionately referred to as 'NASTYBUST' by its numerous alumni.

"That we do," Lily responded sarcastically, even causing her sister to laugh. "See? We have… three attendees, so far."

"But," Vivian said cautiously, knowing her sister did not like being wronged, "the show was due to begin twenty minutes ago." Eighteen minutes and thirty-one seconds, to be exact.

Lily was not one to be outdone. She puffed up her chest, straightened her suit, fixed her cap, and strode out of the little hub she and her sister would wait for their show to start in. As soon as her foot touched the ground outside of the tunnel, there was a crash of thunder and a bolt of lightning, followed by a terrified scream. "Well, that's why there's no crowd," Lily told her sister, "it's raining."

In her meek manner, Vivian walked to the door of the tunnel and looked out, it was pouring now. She desperately wanted to say 'I told you so', but it did not strike her as a good idea at the time. Her gaze settled upon the bleachers, where a body lay lifeless. "Lily, settle your gaze upon the bleachers—a body lays lifeless."

"Oh, hell, you're talking like Shakespeare again, aren't you? For the twentieth time, Vivian, I don't understand a word that comes out of your mouth half of the time."

If either could tell the future, they probably would have done something to help the dead man on the bleachers, as opposed to leaving him there—Lily wanted to go home, she had bought a lovely piece of brie from the cheese market and there were cranberries calling her name—because the newspaper headlines the next day on the Coeur d'Coeurs Daily News Daily read 'Darling Mermaid Darlings Leave Fans 'Dead' in Delight'. Of course, despite the positive title, the article itself stated many nasty things.

Many, many nasty things.


End file.
